WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = can't tell (:
2. last phone call = your mom. we had phone sex
3. last text message = i'm not under the influence, thankyouverymuch
4. last song you listened to = some classical shit my mom enjoys.
5. last time you cried = never, bitchez! okay, no. i skinned my knee. and yes, my mommy did kiss it to make it better
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = more than twice.
7. been cheated on = i typically cheat first
8. kissed someone & regretted it = all kisses are like that, right?
9. lost someone special = you mean my daddy? no.
10. been depressed = i think of myself as very happy-go-fucky
11. been drunk and threw up = take out the throw up part and yes.
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. plaid
13. rainbow
14. clear
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
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15.
Made a new friend = nope.
16.
Fallen out of love = every day
17.
Laughed until you cried = i prefer to use the term 'snicker' but yes, i have.
18.
Met someone who changed you = changed my fruity gayness? i didn't think that was possible 0.0 where has this world gone?
19.
Found out who your true friends were = that fucker pluto?
20.
Found out someone was talking about you = they always have. nothing new.
21.
Kissed anyone on your friend's list = more than once
GENERAL:22.
How many people on your friends list do you know in real life = all of them
24.
Do you have any pets = only the ants in my ant farm. oh, and pluto.
25.
Do you want to change your name = only to make my middle name less faggy
26.
What did you do for your last birthday = drank till i puked then fucked some big-boobed chick.
27.
What time did you wake up today = before you did. gotta love that early morning determination to get down to the beach... again, i sell umbrellas
28.
What were you doing at midnight last night = your mom
29.
Name something you CANNOT wait for = your death
30.
Last time you saw your Mother = this morning.
31.
What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = make daddy love me... that bastard
32.
What are you listening to right now = the voices in my head o.o
33.
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = no.
34.
What's getting on your nerves right now = these questions?
35.
Most visited webpage = facebook (:
36.
Where do you want to be right now? = with your mom. in bed.
37.
Nicknames = jake, jakie, jay. preferably the latter
38.
Relationship Status = i'm narcissistic, i date myself.
39.
Zodiac sign = wtf.
40.
Male or female? = proud owner of the family jewels
42.
Middle School = i burned it down.
44.
Hair color = brown with blonde highlights.
45.
Long or short = i need a haircut. bad.
46.
Height = four foot twenty five inches
47.
Do you have a crush on someone? = nope
48.
What do you like about yourself? = every fucking thing
49.
Piercings = if i wanted my mom to have cardiac arrest, i'd get one. in the gay ear too, just to piss off those of the male persuasion.
50.
Tattoos = nope.
51.
Righty or Lefty = lefty bitches
52.
First surgery = when i snapped my wrist backwards
53.
First piercing = tomorrow. in the gay ear.
54.
First best friend = your mom.
56.
First vacation = the beach. i go on vacation every fucking day.
58.
First crush = your mom.
RIGHT NOW:
59.
Eating = again, your mom.
60.
Drinking = ocean water
61.
I'm about to = piss my pants. no lie.
62.
Listening to = classical music. it makes me feel even gayer than i already am.
63.
Waiting for = your mom to come home so we can do it.
YOUR FUTURE :64.
Want kids? = have one. pluto is the mom. he doesn't know it yet, though.
65.
Get Married? = nope
66.
Career? = have one. selling umbrellas.
67.
Lips or eyes = eyes
68.
Hugs or kisses = blow jobs
69.
Shorter or taller = pluto's shorter. i dominate, bichez!
70.
Older or Younger = younger. those chicks are easier to manipulate. oh, did i say that outloud?
71.
Romantic or spontaneous = sexual
72.
Nice stomach or nice arms = both as long as they're not hotter than me.
73.
Sensitive or loud = loud. 'opposites attract' is bullshit
74.
Hook-up or relationship = hookups with your mom. relationships with
pluto other chicks
75.
Trouble maker or hesitant = troublemaker
HAVE YOU EVER :76.
Kissed a stranger = only your mom
77.
Drank hard liquor = every night
78.
Lost glasses/contacts = not my own ^.^
79.
Sex on first date = every time
80.
Broken someone's heart = definitely
81.
Had your own heart broken = never o.o
82.
Been arrested = no.
83.
Turned someone down = only the ugly faggots
84.
Cried when someone died = no.
85.
Fallen for a friend? = pluto? ew.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:86.
Yourself = um. yes.
87.
Miracles = bullshit
88.
Love at first sight = more bullshit
89.
Heaven = only because i know i'm an angel with white wings.
90.
Santa Claus = look in the dictionary. the definition is 'a jolly fat man'
91.
Kiss on the first date = yeah. fuck on the first date, too.
92.
Angels = again. only because i know i'm an angel with white wings.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:93.
Had more than one bf/gf? = at the same time? yes. at different times? yes.
95.
Did you sing today? = my shower head was very impressed. my mom, on the other hand, wasn't.
96.
Ever cheated on somebody? = yeah
97.
If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = only to become un-gay. but that's not possible
98.
If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be = when i fucked that hot chick with big ass titties
99.
Are you afraid of falling in love with somebody? = no.
100.
Posting this as 100 truths? = nah. 100 lies. except the gay parts... and doing your mom.
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